Dating after divorce for me started when my daughter was six months old. In my free time I’d learned and mastered the art of swiping left and right. I had gotten married in a time before swiping and I learned how fun it could be. At first, I needed release… release of stress, release of being a single mom to a 6 month old and three year old, release of the quiet of being a stay at home single mom and of course release of being married to one person for so many years. Getting ready for a date as a single mom with a baby is no easy task. Picture a baby strapped in a stroller and placed in the bathroom so I could have a quick shower pre date. The idea of putting makeup on to go to meet a man while simultaneously playing with my baby literally boggled my mind and still does! I’d put my baby to sleep with a perfect face of makeup on, wait for my babysitter to arrive, get dressed and go see and be seen. Initially for me dating was just dating to meet new walks of life, experience complete freedom again and avoid my present life situation for a few hours a week.
With the onset of corona my two steady dates a week came to a halt and luckily I’d settled into my new reality with more ease and confidence. It was time to figure out what I wanted in order to find the right types of dates. With my love for living alone plus my kids of course, I knew I never wanted a man to take up my space or my time with my kids in my house ever again. Still with remnants of being pregnant and certain postpartum body issues I also knew that I didn't want more kids. But that is not common or ok here where I live. I was greeted with “What? No more kids? No don’t worry, you’ll have more kids, you’re just traumatized. No more marriage? Never say never, don't you want a man”? And to all those women and men who say that to me I answer “Absolutely not”! You’re doing women a discredit to doubt someone who knows herself so well.
Now as my swipes go left and right, as tiring and exciting as it can be, dating is a mixed bag of being hopeful to find that “diamond in the rough” with the exhaustion of knowing just what you want but not being able to find it. And in between all the dates and expectations, every now and then you meet spectacular, glowing humans, myself included, who you
never thought could exist- which for me has made it all worth it.